NotTheWorstNews

Recent Posts - page 4

• Four more Avatar movies? We’ve got some titles. 

  By Not The Worst News on April 14, 2016 • ( 0 )

  CNN reports that James Caneron announced there will be four more Avatar sequels… Apparently because three won’t quite tell the story.  We’ve got some suggestions for titles for the sequels: 1. Another Box Office Record = Unobtanium 2. Dumb stuff… Read More ›

• Average Manhattan Apartment Costs Over $2 Million

  By Not The Worst News on April 13, 2016 • ( 0 )

  Yahoo Finance reports that the average Manhattan apartment is over $2 million, while the median apartment is more like $1.1 million. 3 Explanations For This Discrepancy Donald Trump’s penthouse is driving up the average, in part, because like his net worth, he… Read More ›

• 3 More Reasons We Suspect Trump Kids Didn’t Register To Vote

  By Not The Worst News on April 12, 2016 • ( 0 )

  Yesterday we wrote that Ivanka and Eric Trump failed to register in time to vote in the New York Republican Primary. We have 3 suggestions as to why… They thought they needed the official longer-than-official-long-form Trump-demanded birth certificate along with… Read More ›

• Ivanka and Eric Trump Didn’t Register To Vote!

  By Not The Worst News on April 11, 2016 • ( 1 )

  CBC reports that Ivanka and Eric Trump missed the October 9, 2015 deadline to register in the New York Republican primary and therefore cannot vote for their father. Donald Trump was reported saying this to Fox and Friends: “They had… Read More ›

• 3 More Headlines We Propose For Toronto Sun Raccoon Sex Story

  By Not The Worst News on April 10, 2016 • ( 0 )

  Yesterday we wrote about a real Toronto Sun headline about a woman waking up to raccoons having sex on her balcony. Here are 3 more headlines we would have used instead: “Now a story that will embarrass all those raccoons… Read More ›

• Real Toronto Sun Headline: “Toronto woman wakes up to raccoon sex”

  By Not The Worst News on April 9, 2016 • ( 1 )

  The Toronto Sun reports that a woman woke up at 7 am to raccoons having sex on her balcony.  Here’s an excerpt from the article: “‘I’m an animal lover but I can’t stand this,’ she said. ‘I found it gross… Read More ›

• Ted Cruz iPhone Appeared To Be Getting Messages During CNN Interview

  By Not The Worst News on April 8, 2016 • ( 1 )

  In a CNN Dana Bash interview in New York aired on Thursday, the iPhone tritone ring went off a few times during the interview. The ring is the default for received voice messages. We’re going to assume political reporter Dana… Read More ›

• Dragon Horn Injections.

  By Not The Worst News on April 7, 2016 • ( 0 )

  Yahoo reports that a woman has taken drastic steps to resemble a dragon. You can view a photo by clicking here. As part of this effort, the former banker has surgically removed her ears and nose, and had horn injections…. Read More ›

• 3 Slogans We Propose For The NFL On Twitter

  By Not The Worst News on April 6, 2016 • ( 0 )

  Yahoo reports that Twitter has secured the rights to ten 2016 NFL Thursday Night Football games.  Since we’re all about helping social media, here are: 3 New Slogans We Propose For Twitter Twitter: the perfect place to view the NFL… Read More ›

• 3 Similes We Have For Wisconsin

  By Not The Worst News on April 5, 2016 • ( 0 )

  Ted Cruz is like Milwaukee’s beer, Miller. He’s the Champagne of beers, or in other words, the best of the worst leading Republican candidates. Donald Trump is like Milwaukee’s motor cycle manufacturer, Harley-Davidson… a noisy HOG of television time. Bernie Sanders… Read More ›

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