Donald Trump. “I resolve to exercise more, and by ‘exercise’ I mean ‘exercise my right to free speech while these loser media companies report every ridiculous thing I say to the losers who are my base.’” Hillary Clinton. “I resolve to be… Read More ›
Month: December 2015
Sarcastic Questions About The “800 Year-Old” “Mobile Phone”
The Guardian reports that likely hoaxers claim to have found an 800-year-old mobile phone made out of clay. The “phone” buttons have ancient cuneiform characters, and the model looks a lot like an old Nokia phone. Apparently the idea is that someone… Read More ›
Trump Spokesperson Katrina Pierson Piercing Our Eardrums With Dumb Arguments
On CNN over the past few days, Trump Spokesperson, Katrina Pierson has been arguing that Hillary Clinton is a hypocrite for calling Trump sexist… the argument: Hillary remains married to Bill Clinton and lets him campaign for her despite him having… Read More ›
3 Worse Investments Than Stocks, Bonds, and Money In The Bank In 2015
Bloomberg reports that investments, including putting money in the bank, generally resulted in no gains in 2015. Those who invested in an index fund may be up just over 2% this year. 3 Worse Investments You Could Have Made in… Read More ›
Star Wars Earns $1 Billion In Record Time… We Have 3 More Suggestions For Disney To Make Money (spoilers)
CNN reports Star Wars has grossed over a billion dollars for Disney in a record time of 12 days. 3 Ways Disney Can Earn Even More Money Stop showing the trailer for that animated movie with sloths working at the… Read More ›
Look Out, 2016, Columbia House Back In Business
CNN reports that Columbia House, the mail order company from the 1980s that would sell you a bunch of albums for a penny in exchange for paying more money for albums later, plans on selling vinyl records. 3 More Things… Read More ›
3 Things That TV Commercials Incorrectly Predicted About Christmas
There is not a silver car with a red bow on top in your driveway today. If you’re lucky, you only got a keychain – in camouflage colors, which will make it even more difficult to find your keys. If… Read More ›
We Deliver 3 New Slogans To FedEx
The Wall Street Journal reports that some retailers are blaming FedEx for delay of holiday packages. FedEx reportedly acknowledges they have “unforeseen volume” from some customers. Since we are all about helping business, here are 3 new slogans we propose… Read More ›
3 Reasons Not To Be Mad At Steve Harvey
Earlier this week, Steve Harvey, while hosting the Miss Universe Pageant announced that the first-runner up was the winner, leading the wrong person to be crowned. And then he had to announce to a happy “Miss Universe” that he made… Read More ›
3 Worse Names Than United Airlines’ “United Paws”
NY Daily News reports that United Airlines has brought back a program for the holiday season called “United Paws.” For a limited time at certain airports, you can pet a dog to relieve your stress… As we are all about… Read More ›
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