In the wake of members of Congress asking the politically incorrectly named Washington Redskins to change its team name, we continue our series making fun of the other D.C. area team names. Washington Wizards? Look, we understand the tougher sounding… Read More ›
Month: May 2013
Washington D.C. As Good At Naming Sports Teams As Passing Laws Voters Want
The Associated Press reports that 10 members of Congress have written a letter to the owner of the Washington Redskins, the NFL Commissioner, and the owners of every other NFL team, asking the team name be changed as it’s offensive… Read More ›
Michelle Bachmann Will Consider Every Option Available In The World. P.S. Does Anyone Want To Store 6,000,000 Options In Their Garage Once She’s Done Reviewing Them?
CNN reports that Michelle Bachmann announced today that she will not be seeking reelection for her House of Representatives seat in 2014. From the article: “Bachmann, who’s in her fourth term representing Minnesota’s 6th District, promised that there ‘is no… Read More ›
Time To Gawk At The Ol’ Business Plan For A While…
As we wrote last week, Gawker was seeking $200,000 from readers to buy an alleged video of Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford allegedly smoking crack. Canoe news reports, they’ve raised the money! Let’s get the popcorn ready, along with some children… Read More ›
Those Signs Of What Not To Bring On An Airplane Indicate What Not To Bring On An Airplane.
NBC News reported on May 25 that a record number of guns were seized at U.S. airport security checkpoints last week. Specifically, the TSA confiscated 65 guns: 54 loaded. And eleven more unloaded. Also, we do not know if any… Read More ›
If You Want To Destroy Your Sweater, Why Didn’t You Just Ask Weezer For Help?
Yesterday, we wrote about how a Tweet by famous-for-being-famous model Kendall Jenner reportedly upset famous-for-being-famous rock offspring Frances Bean Cobain. Cobain was upset that Kendall was Tweeting that life can be hard and Tweeting that was self-absorbed. Around the time… Read More ›
Famous Rich Kid Serves Famous Rich Kid For Whining On Twitter (And Then Proceeds To Whine On Twitter)
Gawker reports that Frances Bean Cobain, daughter of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, “slammed” Kendall Jenner, half-sister of Kim Kardashian on Twitter. What did Kendall tweet to inspire 1990s-grunge-era cynicism? From the article: “Just wish things could be easier sometimes… Read More ›
Woman Says She’s Too Pretty To Work. “Right,” Said Fred, “I have the same problem!”
The mail reports that a 33-year-old science grad has quit her job, to live off her parents, because she is “too pretty to work.” Her parents pay for her monthly expenses, including designer clothing. From the article: “Even when I… Read More ›
If You Get So Drunk That Your Bra Is On The Ceiling, Good News, It May Not Be A Fire Hazard!
WTMJ-TV in Milwaukee reports that the decision of an inspector banning bras hanging from a local bar ceiling due to fire hazard worries has been reversed. Getting drunk and hanging your bra from the ceiling has been a tradition for… Read More ›
Ke$ha Drinks Own Urine On TV, Proving Putting Dollar Signs In Your Name Does Not Always Guarantee People Will Think You’re Classy!
Gawker reports that pop star Ke$ha urinated into a bottle and then drank it as part of an MTV reality show. Because, apparently, MTV’s definition of reality, is “this is something that happened.” And we can’t argue with that. The… Read More ›