CTV News reports that an Ontario, Canada man was fined for smuggling almost 40 turtles in his pants across the Canada-U.S. border into Canada. Those of you who follow this site closely, will know this is not our first story… Read More ›
Pigs Wisely Packing On Weight To Avoid Becoming Ham
Bloomberg reports that American pigs are “too fat for holiday ham.” 3 More Things Pigs Are Unqualified For 1. Maid at local Holiday Inn 2. Librarian (They are noisy and certainly can’t say “Shhhhh.”) 3. Person who says “Quiet Please”… Read More ›
Police In Canada Deal With Beaver Blocking Traffic
CBC reports that in Miramichi, New Brunswick, an angry beaver spent part of Tuesday delaying traffic and chasing people around the streets. The local police had the following to say: “The guys left it alone, told the citizens to leave… Read More ›
Spiders Lead To Car Recall
Yahoo reports that Mazda is recalling 42,000 sedans because a certain type of spider loves the smell of gasoline, and the spiders’ webs block “evaporative canister vent lines.” This increases the risk of a fire, however Mazda says it is… Read More ›
Actor Who Played “McGruff The Crime Dog” Sentenced For Drug And Weapons Offences
QMI Agency reports that the actor who played 1980s PSA anti-crime cartoon star, McGruff the Crime Dog has been sentenced to 16 years in federal prison after police found blueprints of two indoor marijuana grow-ops in his car. A search… Read More ›
Snakes On A Pew?
ABC news reports that in rural Appalachia churches that features poisonous snakes being handled by pastors at their services are arguing they have the Constitutional right to continue using snakes in the services, as a literal interoperation of a Bible… Read More ›
In Honor Of The Family Living Like It’s 1986, We Suggest A Scene Idea For Policy Academy 8
The Guardian reports that a man from Oxford, England, who really likes the sound of crickets has received a warning after releasing 1,000 exotic crickets in his backyard. 3 Worse Things Someone Could Release In Their Backyard 1. Dane Cook. This would… Read More ›
Look Out Sharknado, Here Comes Sharkmetro!
The Gothamist reports that New York subway riders got a surprise when a dead shark was found riding a train Wednesday morning. Of course, riders took the opportunity to photograph the shark with Red Bull and a cigarette in its… Read More ›
Gerbil Beauty Pageants: Better Than Other Trump Organization-Affiliated Pageants?
The Associated Press reports that the American Gerbil’s Society recently held its annual pageant in Massachusetts to determine “top gerbil.” 3 Pageants We’d Less Like To Judge 1. New York City’s Top Rat. Our reluctance to judge such a competition… Read More ›
It’s May, Which, Of Course Means, It’s Time To Ask Yourself: “Does My Dog Need A Tattoo?”
DNAinfo.com reports that New Yorkers everywhere are getting trendy tattoos for their dogs, often on the hindquarters, a.k.a. “tramp stamp” position. Don’t worry, the tattoos are temporary, and from what we gather reading the article, also safe, unless your dog is… Read More ›