CNN reports that due to declines in gambling, Nevada casinos collectively have lost money six years in a row.

Since we’re all about helping big casinos, here are:

3 Slogans We Propose For Las Vegas

1.  “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless you gambled or invested money in Vegas. That money magically disappears.”
2. “Vegas:  We realized that people may want to go to the real New York or Paris instead of replicas in a desert.  Come visit our newer casinos whose themes are “Giant-Douchey-Nightclub!”
3.  “Vegas: Will Y’all Please Stop Buying Powerball Tickets and Come To A Place Where You Can Slowly Lose Your Money?”

Categories: Mildly Bad News

Tags: Business, drinking, gambling, Humor, money, Parody, partying, satire, vegas