TMZ reports that former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer may be in talks to buy the LA Clippers, which has some fans worried the team may be moved to Seattle.
We’re more concerned with what Microsoft’s former talking paper clip would have to say…
3 Things We May Expect Microsoft’s Former “Office Assistant” Clippy To Say Upon Hearing This News
1. “It looks like you’re writing a contract to negotiate to buy the LA Clippers. Would you like help? Specifically, would you like a life-sized ‘Clippy’ to come out of retirement and be the team’s mascot? Clippy’s back in business, baby!”
2. “It looks like you want every paragraph (c) of the agreement replaced with the copyright symbol, and every paragraph (e) replaced with the symbol for the Euro. Consider it done! p.s. sorry if the team costs more now that you’re negotiating in Euros instead of dollars.”
3. “It looks like you may want to own a winning NBA franchise. Would you like some assistance to make sure this team misses acquiring all of the major free agents and well-chosen draft picks over the next decade? What? You already have experience missing creating Google, the iPod, the iPhone, and the iPad? Sorry for the suggestion Mr. Balmer… oh, no, this means Clippy is getting turned off forever again, doesn’t it?”