Gawker reports that a man who was declared by an Ohio court to be “dead” after disappearing, is in fact alive! Great news! Except for the man who went to Court, which refused to declare him “not-dead” because Ohio has a crazy law that once someone has been declared dead for three years, there’s no going back.
According to the article, the judge said this:
“I don’t know where that leaves you, but you’re still deceased as far as the law is concerned…”
3 Questions That Arise From This Story
1. You don’t know where that leaves him, you’re Honor? We think that leaves him standing, puzzled, in front of a judge who is unable to use common sense. We mean, come on, who in the world (other than maybe an identity thief) is going to appeal a decision finding that a living person is in fact alive?
2. So if people disappear in Ohio for three years, they can be declared not to be people, and therefore not have any of the rights or responsibilities of people? That sounds like a perfect plot for a bad teen comedy movie where college freshmen all get declared dead, and then have the biggest, most illegal frat house party in their senior year, where they can never get arrested, because they are not “people.”
3. How did this law get passed in the first place in Ohio? We mean, wouldn’t the logical law be: if a person we said is dead turns out to be alive, then we reverse our death declaration? Come on, Ohio legislature, with laws like this on the books, you’re starting to make Congress look almost competent!
The good thing is that this man doesn’t have to pay taxes anymore,
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The bad news, is based on your comment, he can legally say that the popular quote “The only thing certain in life is death and taxes,” has sadly proven to be completely inaccurate.
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Actually, this man gets to die twice, so death is more certain for him than for most people.
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A better and funnier ruling than the one from the judge!
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Wouldn’t that make him one of the undead? 🙂
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Depends on number of zombie bites.
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sorry – the comment above is from me – I missed hitting the button to identify myself
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Thank you for identifying yourself, comedic cat! This changes the entire context of your previous joke… no this changes everything! Cats can write jokes? Someone hire some cats before our web site goes out of business by losing the cat demographic!
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Cats do not appreciate sarcasm – expect a dead mouse in your slipper
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We should have realized Garfield was being sarcastic when he said cats love sarcasm, and to expect some free Lasagna in our slippers!
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Garfield meant sarcasm coming from us, not you. 🙂
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