British School Bans Teachers From Using Red Ink To Mark Tests. We Create A Mock Test To Imagine How That Will Work Out.

The Cornishman reports that a British school has banned teachers from using red ink on tests.

From the article:

“Under a new grading policy at Mounts Bay Academy in Cornwall, teachers must mark and write feedback in green, while students must reply in purple.”

Yes, the students must now reply to teachers’ comments, making the experience interactive, like a message board full of illiterate insults on YouTube.

Three Examples Of How We Imagine This Will Work

1. Test Question: what is seven times six?

Student’s Answer: 76

Teacher’s Green Response: Good Effort, but the answer is 42. If you write seven tests and get six answers wrong on each test, you will have got 42 answers wrong, and since there are only six questions on each test, I will run out of green ink explaining why you keep failing.

Student’s Purple Response: You are correct, I have checked on my iPhone, and the answer is 42. By the way, perhaps you would not have run out of green ink if you didn’t waste so much green ink on the tattoos of rings on your fingers. Do you have those because you failed at finding someone to buy you an engagement ring?

2. Test Question: a train leaves London for Paris travelling at 300 km/hr. How long will it take to get to the Space Needle?

Student’s Answer: You haven’t even told me how far London is from Paris or Seattle. And it is impossible for trains to go from Europe to Seattle.

Teachers Green Response: If the trains continued on to Asia, it could certainly be put on a barge headed to the port of Seattle. You seem to have no clue how bongs made in China get to Seattle.

Student’s Purple Response: I wish that I didn’t get the stoner math teacher. But I am happy you are not grading my papers in tie-dye ink anymore. 

3. Test Question: I have a date tonight and am not getting any younger. If I wear a green shirt, will it match my purple pants?

Student’s Answer: Go for it!

Teacher’s Green Response: Thanks for the great advice. It really helped conceal when I spilled salad on my shirt and wine on my pants. Let’s just say the date went really well.

Student’s Purple Response: Is that why there are wine blotches on my test? I’d say “ewww gross” but you did give me 100%, so I won’t complain. 🙂

What do you think? Will banning red ink solve the world’s education crisis? Tell us in the comments below.

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Categories: Education, Humor

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

3 replies

  1. I had a teacher who marked in whatever color was handy. Bad grades or comments aren’t any less stressful in green or purple. Maybe pictograms?

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