CBS News reports that German customs officials have seized a package containing condoms filled with tens of thousands of dollars worth of cocaine addressed to the Vatican. Nobody has been able to determine the intended recipient.
Since nobody knows what’s going on, we’ll propose our own three theories.
1. Sender thought the Catholic Church would be excited to receive a gift of condoms that were not being used for immoral contraception purposes.
2. Someone at the Vatican learned how to use You Tube and was hoping to get the Pope to appear in a viral Rob Ford-inspired video to boost youth interest in the Church.
3. Aspiring author doing research for Dan Brown parody entitled “Angel Dust & Demons.*”
*hey, we didn’t say it was *good* research – that’s why it’s an ‘aspiring’ author and not a real one.