The Associated Press reports that Steve Balmer will retire as Microsoft CEO in 12 months.

3 Worse Things That Could Happen

1. New Microsoft CEO = Clippy, the seemingly unemployed talking paper clip that has all the hottest high-tech advice for MS Word users!

2. Announcement made on a Microsoft Surface Tablet, resulting in few people seeing it.

3. After being appointed new CEO in paragraph 1, Clippy introduces latest product Clipbox 360 – wherever you are standing relative to the box it will clip you like a lobster protecting its family from becoming future McLobsters.

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