Is The Tea Party Going The Way Of Fruitopia Lemon Berry Intuition Fruit Tea?

Erin Burnett ran a segment on CNN last night asking: “Is the Tea Party dead?”

The segment also quoted a Politico interview in which a Tea Party leader reportedly admitted: “There’s not enough money.”

3 Parties We Could See Replacing The Tea Party

1. A party that does not make an impossible-to-keep written pledge to never raise taxes on anyone, under any circumstances, even if aliens from Mars start abducting all low and middle income wage-earners.

Hmmm… the tax rates of the wealthiest Americans who funded the Tea Party  may have went up… are they really wondering why there is “not enough money?”

Hint: we don’t think the money is gone because aliens from Mars abducted their donors.

2. A Lemon Berry Intuition Fruitopia Tea Party. Coca-Cola introduced this beverage in 1995. Ironically, that kind of intuition was not good enough at predicting beverage popularity, as now you might have to drive all the way to a movie theater in Canada to get any Fruitopia product, which is a long to drive from Texas to see the newest Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie.

"Everyone's protesting everything we do! Let's discretely roll out of Sweden!"

A great place to enjoy your favorite Coke liquid beverage, not to be confused with a Koch Brothers’ favorite liquid, which may be oil.

Still, lemon berry intuition may be a good thing in Congress, because any kind of intuition might lead to decisions that improve Congress’ current 17.2% approval rating, reported by Fox News.

3. An S-Club Party. If you remember the 1999 hit from British pop group S-Club 7, “There ain’t no party like an S-Club party.”

On the downside, the song does not promise that the group will prevent America’s credit rating from ever being downgraded from “AAA” to “SSSSSSS.”



Categories: Humor, Politics

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

1 reply

  1. First off, weapons!!! Ill gheatr up some people(10 at most) and each will have one of their own weapon and a knife. Then after that somebody will have no weapons, but a big bag. That will be full of food(mostly canned!) and water(not plastic)I will have a sword and 2 pistals. Brother has swords ^.^but after that we will TRY and get a money truck, if we can’t get in then a big truck. We will also have some oil in the back of it! after we are ready to go, where driving to the mall in Miami!! Because it closes very secure, and is pretty big. So that’s our shelter, and we kill when[if] they get in. me and my sister got talking about this before ad txted a like 2 hour plan of what we will do if something happens.I have another for the end of the world too!

    Like

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