Insurance Company May Complain Life Is Not Fair

Yahoo Finance reports that AIG’s Board of Directors will consider whether joining a lawsuit tomorrow against the United States federal government in a claim alleging “the terms of the deal” bailing out AIG in 2008 were “unfair.” Under the suit, AIG’s former CEO, according to the article, calls the initial 14.5% interest rate that AIG had to pay a “loan shark” rate.

That’s right, AIG apparently is considering alleging that the deal that prevented the company from going bankrupt, that was approved by AIG’s board, after AIG recently launched ads thanking America for its support! What if all the bailed-out companies were to sue? Here’s…

3 Worse Ways A Bailed-Out Company Could Thank You For Your Support 

1. If you’re a bank you could say how unfair an interest rate in the teens is when you borrow, and then charge your credit card customers interest rates in the 20s. That would be “fair” because it reminds you of the “Roaring 20s” when everyone was rich, whereas the “teens” just reminds you of your teenage years listening to depressing music by Simon and Garfunkel.

2. Pay you back all of the money it borrowed in coins from the fountain at the corporate headquarters. The chocolate fountain. That all the executives are dipping gold-foiled chocolate coins into, while losing the occasional coin in the bottom. Yes, it would be ridiculous to dip chocolate wrapped in foil in chocolate.

3. If you’re a car company, you could run 10,000 commercials thanking America for bailing you out during the Superbowl, and then when the multi-billion-dollar bill for the ad comes, ask for a new bailout. We’ll see if America wants to bail you out again after your 10,000 consecutive Ke$ha-endorsed ads made everyone miss the entire game!



Categories: Business, Humor, Law

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

1 reply

  1. I really appreciate #3 and think they should do it. It just might work.

    Like

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