NotTheWorstNews thanks faithful reader Grateful Fairy for nominating this site for the Very Inspiring Blogger and One Lovely Blog awards, so check out her blog! Despite this seemingly good news, the bad news is that if we won either of these awards, we’d have nothing to wear to the award ceremonies, as a brain surgeon hid all of our formal wear in a Florida beach, and no metal-detectors are going to find any of it in the sand (we stopped wearing metal-containing apparel because this guy with a magnet permanently embedded in his arm kept getting stuck to us.) That said, it could be worse, here are:
3 Things Worse Than Getting Nominated For the Very Inspiring Blog Award and One Lovely Blog Award
1. Getting nominated for the “Worst News Of 2012” Award. That would, like, totally make securing the name of this blog at GoDaddy for the next 99 years a waste of money!
2. Getting nominated for the “Worst News Of 1812” Award. Our top news story on May 31, 1812, would have been “War of 1812 Still Continues And Why Do They Still Keep Calling Quebec ‘Lower Canada’ and Ontario ‘Upper Canada’ When Anyone Looking At A Map Can See Upper Canada is On The Bottom! And No Wonder This War Keeps Dragging On When Nobody Knows Which Way Is ‘Up’ On A Map!”
3. Getting nominated for the “1982 Very Inspiring Frogger” Award. For those of you unfamiliar with Frogger, it was a video game, where you controlled a frog that ran across high traffic streets, to jump on lily pads, leading to hungry snakes. Since there was no way to finish this game, spoiler alert, it never ended well for the frog, so nobody should have been inspired to copy that frog. But there will always be people, likely MTV viewers, who do whatever they see on TV or in video games. And that’s why every TV commercial where somebody does something with a car, like driving through a jungle, around a racetrack, or just down a street displays a fine print disclaimer: “Professional Driver: Do Not Attempt.” In other words, “Please buy this vehicle, but do not attempt driving it.” On that note, we sense a “Most Ridiculous Disclaimer of 2012 Commercials” award.