On the weekend, Donald Trump said he would block AT&T’s take over of Time Warner. He also said he would break-up Comcast and NBC/Universal.
Why? Because the media is rigged, according to Trump.
First, to readers out there, note that Time Warner is a media company that owns CNN, which has apparently asked Trump “unfair” questions. Time Warner is not your cable company – that is a different company that regrettably kept the same name (Time Warner Cable) after it was spun-out of Time Warner a while back.
So AT&T is not merging with your cable company. It is trying to merge with Superman and Game of Thrones.
As we are a media-mocking site, here are 3 questions that arise from this story…
1. Will you break up all of 21st Century Fox? It saddens us that the Simpsons and Family Guy come from the same corporation as Fox News and your fan Sean Hannity. We would suggest to break it up into three divisions:
(a) First Century Fox. For all the supporters who want to make America great again by returning things to the days of Jesus. Just not the sharing or being nice to people parts of the days of Jesus.
(b) 18th Century Fox. For all the supporters who want to make America great again by returning things literally to the days that the Constitution was written.
(c) 20th Century Fox. For those supporters who are less extreme, and just want to return to the days of Reagan. The days when crime was ridiculously high. Luckily, these supporters don’t remember Times Square and Hollywood as being sleazy, sketchy places because they were too busy watching Happy Days* to leave their homes.
2. Why doesn’t Trump break-up the billionaire owned Las Vegas Review Journal? Casino magnate Sheldon Adelson owns that paper, which as you can see from this Trump tweet, is the only major “news”paper in America to endorse Trump. Oh and Adelson supports Trump. Coincidence? Ask the former editorial staff members as we don’t see Trump complaining. Anyway, we understand why Adelson thinks Trump is awesome at casinos, as the last casino in Atlantic City with his name on it closed weeks ago.
3. When you break up NBC, will you be sure that the new corporation can never do the following things:
(a) air a show called the Apprentice starring you, showing off your wealth, without fact-checking your finances on any tax return;
(b) make you famous on that show, along with allowing you to host SNL, even after you made terrible comments in your campaign;
(c) suggest that you should access Hollywood by inviting you on Access Hollywood.
*or starring in Happy Days – way to go, Scott Baio!
Categories: 2016 Presidential Election, Humor, Mildly Bad News
Most original perspectives I’ve heard in, well, I don’t know when.
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