The Bleacher Report reports that Arkansas-Little Rock basketball coach Chris Beard broke his hand by apparently punching a dry-erase board during a pep talk.

Here’s a more specific quote from the coach to the media:

“A dry-erase board took a bad shot. There was a chair there and I thought, briefly, about maybe using the chair but coach [Bob] Knight told me to never do that. Never use a chair in those situations.“

“Never use a chair in those situations,” is one of the best pep-talk-gone-awry quotes we have ever heard. How inspiring! So inspiring, in fact, it’s inspired us to list:

3 More Things Not To Throw, Break Or Punch During A Basketball Pep Talk

1. The referee that just gave you a technical foul for punching a chair.
2. Whatever thing is the Philadelphia 76ers’ mascot, because really, the season is not the thing’s fault.
3. The door exiting the locker room. Because the best door-breaking pep talk in the world is going to be of no assistance if a broken door results in you and your team being locked in the locker room for the second half.

Categories: Mildly Bad News

Tags: basketball, Comedy, dumb, Humor, Inspiration, motivational speaking, Parody, satire, sports