In a press conference tonight, Donald Trump showed reporters Trump-branded frozen steaks, water, and other products, to presumably prove that they are successful products, unlike some in the media have suggested.
3 More Trump-Branded Products We’d Like To See
- Trump-micowaves. You have to thaw out those Trump steaks somehow! Since the Sharper Image used to sell them, and we don’t exactly see any Sharper Image stores around the mall, we assume these things were proudly frozen as long as Captain America.
- Trump-phones. Assembed in America, with the ability for the government to easily access all information on them. Basically like smartphones, except for the “smart” part. Don’t worry, Trump will put tariffs on foreign competing phones, so you will have to pay more for the phones that everyone else in the world will be buying instead of the crappy Trump product.
- Trump Jenga. Make Ameri-Jenga great again! Each block features a Trump idea. Just take all the blocks from the bottom, say “Ooops that was a terrible idea,” and rebuild the thing. You can even build your own pretend border wall. Sure, not how the real world works, but a fun game, we’re sure!