The Street reports that Sears is seeking a new $750 million loan to help its Sears and Kmart chains stay afloat.

Since we’re all about helping formerly dominant companies, here are our 3 new slogans we propose for Sears/Kmart.

1. Sears – visit our empty stores – if you think loaning $750 million to us is a great deal, you’ll probably think everything else in store is also a great deal. Win-win.
2. Sears/Kmart – keeping our fingers crossed we can sell all that Trump clothing Macy’s didn’t want to sell any more.
3. Kmart: if you’re too lazy to go to Walmart, or sign up for Amazon, check out our deals on sweatpants.

Categories: Mildly Bad News

Tags: Advertising, Business, fashion, Humor, marketing, Parody, satire, shopping