Star Wars Earns $1 Billion In Record Time… We Have 3 More Suggestions For Disney To Make Money (spoilers)

CNN reports Star Wars has grossed over a billion dollars for Disney in a record time of 12 days.

3 Ways Disney Can Earn Even More Money

  1. Stop showing the trailer for that animated movie with sloths working at the DMV before Star Wars.  Sloths are slow. We get the joke.  But we don’t remember the title of the movie, so that extra screen time could have been spent selling something else.  Like Star Wars action figures that nerds can sell on Pawn Stars in 35 years in a sadder circle of life than the Lion King.
  2. If you are going to build catwalks hundreds of feet in the air in your Death Star or evil base or whatever – spend the extra dollars on safety railings. We’re just trying to save you the big money later from intergalactic lawsuits.
  3. North American viewers demand 4D screenings like those in Asia that apparently include moving seats, fog, wind blasts and fragrances. Fact: everyone wants to know what Chewbacca smells like.


Categories: Mildly Bad News

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1 reply

  1. Actually, that catwalk without the railings is HOW the First Order discourages lawsuits: the lawsuit filing office is located on the other side, and it gets pretty windy in that chasm.

    Liked by 1 person

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