The Associated Press reports that Whole Foods Market has apologized for “unintentional” “pricing mistakes” in stores in New York.

“How many mistakes did they make?” you ask, as you chew on some whole-grain naturally-flavored bubble gum. Well, according to the article:

“The department [New York Department of Consumer Affairs] tested 80 types of prepackaged items and found all of them had mislabeled weights”

As we always try to help companies, here are:

3 New Slogans We Propose For Whole Foods Market

1. Whole Foods: By “Whole Foods,” We Mean We Sell You “Part of the Foods” That Originated From The “Whole Foods.”

2. Whole Foods: So You May Have Been Overcharged On Some Items – It’s Not Like You’re Going To Order “Organic Food” Made in China on the Internet

3. Whole Foods: Formerly Named “Hole Foods” Because Obviously The Packaging Had Holes* In It Resulting In Lesser Ingredients Than Advertised

*Packaging Holes Were Definitely Not Caused By Non-Free Range New York City Rats

Categories: Business, Humor

Tags: Advertising, Business, food, Humor, marketing, money, organic food, Parody, satire