Wal-Mart Is Turning Up The Heat! Literally. We Mean Higher In-Store Temperatures.

CNBC reports that Wal-Mart is turning up the heat in its stores. Literally. To make employees happier. Apparently the temperature in the stores is determined at a central location and not by the individual stores.  To help them with this transition, we have:

3 Slogans We Propose For A Potentially Warmer Wal-Mart

1. “We’re rolling back… the thermostats… from 40 degrees Fahrenheit to Celsius!” (It’s warmer – trust us America. Or ask Presidential Candidate, Lincoln Chafee, who wants America to use the metric system.)

2. “Come visit our warmer stores, where the sweaty people you see on the web site ‘People of Wal-Mart’ will be wearing even skimpier trashy clothing!”

3. “Wal-Mart: Where Did All Our Snowmen Greeters Go? In An Unrelated Note: Sale On Carrots Lying In Puddles On Floor.”

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Categories: Mildly Bad News

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