McDonald’s Plan To Improve Business: Divide Its Stores Into Geographic Zones!

Reuters reports that McDonald’s made a video announcement today of their plan to improve their business. The plan includes cutting costs, selling company-owned restaurants to franchisees, simplifying stuff, and creating four geographic divisions.

Now, while we’re not certain that cutting costs or unloading unwanted restaurants to franchisees will make McDonald’s a more appealing destination, we do like geography. So here are:

3 Different Geographic Zones We Propose For McDonald’s

1. Outer space. Hey, you want this freeze-dried space food, or the convenience of a drive-thru value meal? We know what people trapped in orbit will always choose.

2. The No-Public-Bathroom Zone. (Formerly known as Europe)

3. Isolated-Rest-Stops-On-Interstates-Zone. Driving across the country and about to run out of gas, but didn’t want to stop at Roy Rogers, Sbarro, or Cold Stone Creamery? Well, you’re out of gas, and rolled the dice and now have to stop at McDonald’s.  Be sure to visit the public restroom – it’s just like visiting Europe, and unlike many fast food chains in Europe, there’s no coin-operated door!

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Categories: Mildly Bad News

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