Soon you will be able to use your face to buy things, instead of the faces of those Presidents on bills.

CNBC reports that Chinese e-commerce giant Alibaba has indicated in the future it may use mobile facial recognition to verify that users are buying something.

3 Frequently Asked Questions That Arise From This Story

1. “If you are John Travolta or Nicholas Cage, who traded faces in the 1997 movie, Face/Off, will the camera recognize which one of the two actors you really are?”

The computer will get it right and recognize either user as “person who has been in a lot of inconsequential movies since then.”

2. “What if you are buying a new face, because you just saw the movie Face/Off? Will the new face be shipped on time, and future purchases be fulfilled correctly.”

If you really are inspired to do things you see in fictional movies, might we suggest you buy copies of “Being There” and the “Cable Guy” instead of faces?

3. “How am I supposed to blame my kid sister on all those in-app charm purchases I made, NOW?”

Time to come up with a better explanation, kid. Maybe you can point the camera at your dog to buy useless stuff and blame the dog later.

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Categories: Mildly Bad News

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