CNBC reports Facebook is launching a payment transfer system, where you can send your Facebook friends for free. Here are 3 uses we’d like to see:

1. Return milk money stolen from all elementary school friends.

2. Bribe Mom to stop posting embarrassing photos of you.

3. Send money to pay message recipients to delete drunken posts sent on St. Patrick’s Day. (That includes messages drunkenly sending money).

Categories: Mildly Bad News

Tags: Business, Facebook, Humor, money, Parody, satire, school