Black Friday Used Black Magic To Trick You Into Thinking You’re Saving

CNN reports that retailers used various tricks this Black Friday, including:

  • selling the same items as Black Friday 2013 at the same prices; and
  • asking suppliers to build items made with cheaper components, like televisions, just for sale on Black Friday.

3 Ways We Suggest Retailers Make Black Friday Even Cheaper

1. Sell fake decorative display televisions from furniture stores. You can get a 50 inch flat screen for $10. Sure it won’t show any channels, but your kids can broadcast their own shows from inside the box, teaching them to be creative producers instead of creative content consumers.

2. Sell cheaply made liquor. Someone may remember that a cheap fast fashion shirt fell apart after one wear. But if they’re drunk, they’ll forget that alcohol made from fermented stormwater run-off wasn’t that great.

3. Make them get up even earlier before the sale, so they save more money by standing in line longer, and are still drunk from Thanksgiving. Might we add that selling fermented storm-water-run off to drunk people might be a great big box store strategy for making money while people stand in line.

Categories: Mildly Bad News

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