Yesterday we wrote about Red Bull settling a false advertising lawsuit because Red Bull doesn’t literally give you wings, among other things.
According to Business Insider, people in America who bought Red Bull over the past 10 years are now eligible to receive a check for $10, or $15 in Red Bull products.
3 Ways We Would Have Liked To See Red Bull Settle This Instead.
1. Offer payment in chicken wings. Ironically, they would be telling the truth, even to people who take everything literally.
2. Offer payment in the form of a DVD box set of the TV show Wings. Again, the truth is being told, and how else are retailers going to unload those things?
3. Offer payment in the form of a DVD of the first Academy Award Best Picture Winner. Hint it’s a silent film called “Wings.” Although there might not be much silence in the room if the other people in the room opted for “$15 in free Red Bull products.” Why is Red Bull giving more Red Bull products to people who are dissatisfied that they didn’t get wings? If those people actually grew wings, we’d bet they’d flap them straight to Red Bull HQ and complain that they only got the type of wings that don’t let you fly. Instead they’ll just complain to whoever is trying to enjoy a silent movie.
Categories: Mildly Bad News
NotTheWorstNews 
There was also a band called Wings. Playing their songs to customers could have prevented this lawsuit.
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A very inexpensive solution if done in the courtroom.
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