Breaking News: We Are Not Done Milking The Facebook Burglar Story

As we have reported over the past few days, an alleged Minnesota burglar was caught allegedly robbing a home by allegedly logging into Facebook and allegedly not logging out before he allegedly left.

Can alleged people like this not just plead allegedly guilty so we don’t have to use the word “allegedly” so much?

3 More Dumb Things A Burglar Can Do On Social Media In A Home

1. Post a Facebook status update that consists of all of the text to Encyclopedia Britannica. First you don’t have time for this; second Wikipedia made that obsolete; and third, this is no way to update your door-to-door Encyclopedia sales skills you learned in the early 1990s!

2. Use homeowner’s credit card to buy 100,000 Twitter followers on some shady web site for $20. Dude, nobody is going to buy that 100,000 people want to read your Tweets that say nothing but “Yeah, Team Followback Rules The World Cup!”

3. Invite all of your burglar friends to join Google+. When you’re not looking, they’re totally going to steal one of your few friends who use that service, resulting in a Google minus!

Categories: Mildly Bad News

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