Beyonce Not Ready For This Jelly, If By Jelly, You Mean Actually Singing In Front Of Hundreds Of Thousands Of People

CNN reports that an Inauguration official has confirmed that Beyonce lip-synced the Star-Spangled Banner at President Barack Obama’s Inauguration ceremony earlier this week.

3 Worse Things Beyonce Could Have Lip-Synced At The Inauguration

1. The Soviet national anthem as sung by former WWE star Nikolai Volkoff before each match during the 1980s. Wrong country. Wrong political ideology. Wrong decade. And we’re pretty certain that since Volkoff wasn’t actually from the Soviet union, he just made up random words that sounded Russian each time he sang it.

2. Taylor Swift’s Grammy Award Speech. This would severely weaken Kanye West’s assertion that Beyonce ought to have won that award.

3. Kelly Clarkson’s Inauguration Rendition of “My Country ‘Tis of Thee.” CNN also confirmed that Ms. Clarkson did not lip-sync at the inauguration, so to have Beyonce come up there and lip-sync the real song everybody just heard would take dialing-it-in to a new level, which we call “pressing-the-contact-number-on-your-iPhone-because-you-don’t-remember-anyone’s-phone-numbers-ever-since-you-could-program-them-into-phones-DIALING-IT-IN.”

Categories: Humor, Music

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1 reply

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