The Local, Sweden’s News In English, reports that police were called to a “Swedish family’s IKEA nightmare.”
The family in Strömstad was trying to assemble IKEA furniture at 1:00 a.m., which apparently woke up their baby, which apparently made the baby cry, which apparently made the neighbors phone the police and complain.
The fact that this is front page news, is why we remind you, we are Not The Worst News.
3 Worse IKEA Nightmares
1. Dreaming you are in high school, doing a presentation in front of the class about how to assemble an IKEA desk, when all of a sudden you realize you forgot to assemble your pants, and are naked! For many people this might be some sort of psychological dream about not living up to youthful expectations, but you really just liked wearing wooden pants to school when you were young.
2. You just assembled an IKEA waterbed* for a young Johnny Depp, who lives on Elm Street, and then Freddy Krueger invades his dreams, and gets blood everywhere, and slice marks in the mattress. Which would make selling the bed on Craig’s List a nightmare, in the 1980s, if the internet even existed!
3. You open your IKEA chalk board* to find out it’s already been assembled. What are you going to do with the six hours left you planned on assembling the thing? (Hint: maybe write a thank-you note on the chalk board to the Swedish gnomes* hiding in the box who assembled it for you.)
*may not be a real product!