Fox News reports that Molson-Coors has installed a beer fridge in the Team Canada Olympic house in Sochi, which dispenses free Molson Canadian beer, if you scan a Canadian passport.

Three Questions That Arise From This Story

1. Is this why Canada is number two in medals at the time of writing this? If so, congratulations, Canada on winning tons of medals, and enjoying some delicious beer, while the rest of the world would just put on weight doing the same thing.

2. Now that Vancouver has crackpipe vending machines, will Canadian Rob Ford demand a similar fridge which gives him beer and crack pipes for free, with the scan of a Mayoral Passport. (A “Mayoral Passport” gets you into all of the finest public and private establishments where someone will secretly shoot a YouTube video of you in Toronto.)

3. We see the Netherlands is number three, behind Canada in gold medals. What do their vending machines sell? Because if it’s anything like their coffee shops, we’d wager Rob Ford would want in on that action, too!

Categories: 2014 Winter Olympics, Humor

Tags: beer, Canada, Humor, Netherlands, Olympics, Parody, postaday, rob ford, satire