Black Friday Deal: Four Jokes About A Cuddling Business For The Price Of Three!

CNBC reports that for a fee, a woman in Portland Oregon, will visit the house of men and cuddle for $60 per hour or $300 to stay the night, with absolutely no “funny business” allowed.

Men who have bought this service reportedly range from their 20s to their 60s, and are providing her with more work than she can handle.

4 Questions That Arise From This Story

1. She is getting paid to sleep? Who would have guessed that in 2013 someone could find a way to get paid a living wage to do even less than Congress?

2. The CNBC news video shows images of apparent cuddling clients. We don’t know if these are actors or not, but if you are doing this and an actor, do you really want your bio to include “Guy Paying To Cuddle #1?” Answer of course, you do – you are totally going to beat out “Guy Paying To Cuddle #2” in the next Sleep Number Bed audition!

3. If they are not actors, do you really want CNBC viewers to know that you are paying people to cuddle? You are totally never going to attract CNBC contributors Amanda Drury or Becky Quick, if they happen to be single. Also, your stockbroker is totally going to try to sell you the most useless stocks around, because they know you will be too busy cuddling to do research, and even if you do research, you think paying someone to sleep and potentially drool on you is a good investment!

4. Is there a Black Friday deal on this cuddling? Perhaps one like Apple’s current deal where you get an Apple gift card with certain purchases. That means cuddling for you = gift card for cuddling for Grandpa this holiday season! Which equals bigger profits for professional cuddlers since nobody (especially your 90 year-old grandfather) ever remembers to use their gift cards! He still hasn’t used his Circuit City gift card from 1990 and they’re out of business and he ran out of circuits in 1992!

Categories: Business, Humor

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

4 replies

  1. $60 an hour? Clearly I need to change my profession!

    On second thought…


  2. Bet she doesn’t have a husband/boyfriend/significant other. I have never met a man who would believe that it was “just a job” or that she was “only cuddling” no matter how many pictures she took.


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