Yesterday we wrote about a woman from Toronto who blogs about dating men she’s not interested in to be able to check out various Toronto restaurants for free.
She joined a Jewish web site to find dates, even though she’s not Jewish. What if she runs out of dating web sites to find prospects to buy her free meals?
Just in case, we at Not The Worst News are currently formulating business plans for:
Three Dating Web Sites We Wish Existed So This Woman Could Join
1. Plenty Of Pacific Fish! This free site would connect people who enjoy gourmet seafood with fisherman and other fish magnates looking for a way to get rid of excess fish inventory. Everybody will be happy with this transaction! Except maybe the fish, who hoped their voyage to the big city was going to lead to more excitement than being filleted at a trendy restaurant frequented by hipster Vegans cheaters who don’t count fish as animals.*
2. eHarmNoMoney. This site matches users with no money with affluent diners who won’t be harmed by hurt feelings, since they really just want to help people who can’t afford their own meals, but are too proud to dumpster dive.
3. Christian Kringle. This web site helps unite Scandinavians who are more into eating the Danish dessert kringle than mingling. A perfect way to allow Finnish people who only speak a language that is very difficult to learn to enjoy quality time with people who just want a conversation-free meal!
*Is it really an animal when it’s made of healthy Omega-3 oils and decaying plastic from garbage floating from China to Hawaii?