In This Netflix Era, How Soon Is Too Soon For Media To Spoil Plots?

Today on Bloomberg TV, anchor Betty Liu gave away the ending to the series Breaking Bad. Given that the episode aired less than a month ago on September 29, is that an example of bad news-breaking? Or if you’ve just spent the past three days trying to catch up to season 3 on Netflix, do you really have a right to complain? Like, who is gonna hear you in the basement, anyway, other than the rats, who would totally spoil every plot point possible if they could talk, because they will do anything to get you to move out of the basement.

3 Examples Of Whether It’s Too Soon To Give A Spoiler For Various Media

1. Books: Did the plot point occur before you were born? For example, Murder on the Orient Express was published on January 1, 1934. So before giving away the ending ask to see the driver’s license of the person with whom you are talking, to see if they are 79 years or older. You need I.D. because with today’s cosmetic technologies including Botox, it’s hard to tell a 79 year-old from a 50 year-old. If the person is over 79, the book may still be sitting on their night stand reading list. In which case, they appear to be procrastinators, so just because they have valid I.D., don’t ask them to pick you up some beer – you’ll be waiting for that beer well past aged 21.

Verdict: Possibly Too Soon.

2. Movies: if you give away the ending to any movie, someone on an IMDB message board will lose it. Never give away the ending to movies. People need to find out the answer to “Dude, Where’s My Car?” for themselves.

Verdict: Just because the Verdict was released in 1982, and Paul Newman is dead, that is no excuse to give away the verdict the next time you are standing in the grocery store next to the Newman’s Own salad dressing.

3. Television: Is it on Netflix? Hey, if you want to pay $8 a month to get into the TV series Diff’rent Strokes, which everyone else saw for free decades ago, you can’t get mad when someone gives away the plot, or even answers the question: “Dude, where’s the first ‘e’ in the shows title? Is that the most inefficient apostrophe ever, replacing just one letter?”

Verdict: What do you expect for $8 a month? Bad guys will give a lot more information than a spoiler for a lot less cash than that. Just ask Rick on Magnum, P.I. if you’re watching that on Netflix. Just don’t be upset whether he tells you whether Higgins is really Robin Masters.

Not The Worst News: Your source for all the non-spoiler Magnum, P.I. information you need.

Categories: Humor, television

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

2 replies

  1. Free speech! Spoiler alerts were invented for a reason 🙂


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