Maybe If There Were Fewer Wizards Casting Useless Spells, Your Basketball Team Would Have Won More Than 29 Games This Season!

In the wake of members of Congress asking the politically incorrectly named Washington Redskins to change its team name, we continue our series making fun of the other D.C. area team names.

Washington Wizards? Look, we understand the tougher sounding former name of the Bullets may have seemed inappropriate in a city with a high gun murder rate.

We hear your team name was based on fan participation, but we wonder if the fans were randomly selected from a late 1990s Magic: the Gathering Convention.

3 Worse Potential Names For Washington’s Basketball Team

1. The Wizardton Whizzes. Looks like it is possible to make this team name sound even less athletic and more nerdy!

2. The Washington Generals. This tough sounding name appears to be available now that the Harlem Globetrotters apparently want to beat teams with names like “Global Select” and “International Elite,” which quite frankly sound like brands of Budweiser. Anyway, with that kind of history of WWE style basketball, it’s probably best not to name yourself after the Koko B. Ware of 1980s basketball.

3. The D.C. Cabs. We actually think any team name based on a Mr. T movie would be awesome. But if the players started behaving like real cabs on the court, because their uniforms would include meters, they would certainly get a lot of travelling calls. Yeah, we went there.

See where we go tomorrow when we conclude our three-part series on Washington, D.C. sports team names!

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Categories: Humor, Sports

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