Man Could Have Had Incredible Return On Investment On 14-Year-Old Hamburger on eBay!

CNN reports that a Utah man found a 14-year-old McDonald’s mummified hamburger in his coat pocket, which he has since refused to sell to on eBay for $2,000 or to a radio DJ for $5,000.

The man paid $0.79 for the burger, so that would be over a 632,000% rate of return for something bought in 1999 before the dot com bubble crash! Look out, Warren Buffett, Omaha isn’t the only rural state full of awesome investors!

3 More Things The Man Could Consider Selling For $5,000

1. 60 Bottles of 14-Year-Old Whiskey. The man lives in teetotalling Utah, he should take what he can get! Especially since we’re guessing the whiskey is probably safer to consume than a rebellious, teenaged-hamburger. As Jim Cramer might say “Sell, sell, sell!”

The bigger question: is plastic a good investment?

The bigger question: is plastic a good long-term investment?

2. IKEA meat products filled with horse or the-opposite-of-elk or any-creature-not-on-the-label DNA! These items are rare to begin with. When was the last time you noticed food in the winding furniture maze of an IKEA store? And these food items in the news are becoming rarer by being recalled. That’s where we’d put our food-in-the-pocket-for-14-years investment money! Buy, buy, buy!

3. His soul. As we wrote last year, those things totally go for less than $2,000 on eBay, so $5,000 is a fantastic deal relative to an old burger. That said, souls are valuable for making proper decisions of which food items to buy or sell on eBay. Hold, hold, hold!

Categories: Humor, Restaurants

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

5 replies

  1. My question is–now that he hasn’t sold it, what’s he going to do with it? Put it on display? Donate it to a museum?


    • Thanks for your question, which will be answered at 12:01 a.m. EST on this web site!


      • 1 piece max a day purely at my dretiscion. So if I am in a bad mood no candy, lol. I also go through and pull out the yucky stuff and put in the trash. Fortunately all the candy that Nadine got was bite size. My nephew got 200 full size candy bars. Now that would take some dealing with.We went to the Farmers Market on Sunday and at each stall Boo was asked if she wanted a piece of candy before she could open her mouth to answer I shouted NO! Yep I am mean.


  2. , just having seen the treialr to this movie made me take a pass on it. The while Umbrella Co. was an underlying story through the entire saga and in the last film I though it started to make too much of an appearance for an underlying story line about a secret organization, but they pulled it off. Just seeing the treialr of this film gave me the impression that was all the movie was about . and with that came the realization that if the first game or movie the came out with was The Umbrella Corporation, it would have been a disastrous failure. I will still see this movie eventually but I don’t feel any urgency about it at all.



  1. 3 Uses For Your Mummified 14-Year-Old $5,000+ Hamburger | NotTheWorstNews

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