The New York Daily News reports that J&D Foods, a company whose motto is “everything should taste like bacon,” is selling bacon condoms.
Specifically, a lated condom with a printed-bacon pattern coated in “baconlube, a water-based meat-flavored personal lubricant.”
We are quite familiar with J&D foods, having sampled their bacon-flavored lip balm, mayonnaise, and popcorn. Other products on their web site include bacon-flavored envelopes, in case you want your friends and relatives to think you were too busy to put down a greasy bacon-burger while sending your Christmas cards.
3 More Potential Bacon Products We Wonder If We’ll See Next
1. Bacon assault rifles. Did the founding fathers contemplate a bacon-assault rifle when drafting the constitution? “We thought of bacon envelopes, but to be honest, bacon assault rifles, we never saw that coming,” we might expect George Washington’s ghost to say.
2. Baconberry Q10 Phones. This new bacon-scented Blackberry would feature the traditional Qwerty keyboard that bacon-lovers are so fond of, with extra large buttons for extra large fingers resulting from eating too much bacon.
3. Bacon kites. These kites made of bacon answer the age-old question: “Why do we have to drive all the way to a lake when we can go fishing in our backyards?” What flying animals eat bacon? Vultures? Eagles? Baltimore Orioles? A trip to your backyard will reveal this and much more!