3 More Examples Of Quality American Infrastructure To Improve Its D+ Rating

Yesterday we wrote about how the American Society of Civil Engineers gave America’s infrastructure a D+ rating in an annual ranking of infrastructure such as ports, rail, and solid waste. And congratulations, Solid Waste, you achieved the highest grade in the study at B-!

We suggested the engineers rate other, less conventional forms of infrastructure to help raise the overall grade. Here are 3 more “A+” worthy infrastructure categories we recommend grading!

1. Lobbiest infrastructure. This powerful group of individuals are able to convince lawmakers to enact laws that the majority of Americans don’t want, and convince the majority of Americans to phone their members of Congress telling them they want laws against their own interests! Do you like writing your blog on a lap top? Of course you don’t. You demand a return to quills, ink, and typewriters! And when you publicly demand these things dressed as a Town Crier, you will blend right in with the other Tea Party members.

2. Free Infrastructure From Canada. When Canada said to the people of Michigan it wanted to build a brand new international bridge at Canada’s expense, crossing the Detroit River, to ease congestion on the privately-owned Ambassador Bridge, 40% of Michigan voters said “no thanks” to free infrastructure! Have you ever been to Detroit? Would you ever expect anyone would be fussy about what kind of free infrastructure somebody wanted to put there? Maybe someone said, “If the price is free, we demand more crumbly, boarded-up half-buildings!” Fortunately, despite significant advertising against the bridge, free infrastructure won out, which is why it deserves an A+!

3. Corporate Infrastructure. This invisible infrastructure is so strong that it is able to assure everyone that it functions best with no regulation, but when the occasional malfunction occurs, due to lack of regulation, it is able to assure everyone that their bailout of the corporation was the best option.

Categories: Humor, Politics

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