Scientific Study Concludes Full Moon Not Tied To “Crazy” Behavior

The Toronto Star reports that a team of researchers led by a professor from a school of psychology spent several years monitoring emergency room patients to determine whether a full moon causes anxiety attacks or other psychological issues.

From the article:

“One thing is certain: We observed no full-moon or new-moon effect on psychological problems.”

3 More Things That Are Certain From This Scientific Study

1. Three years seems like an awful long time to study this! You could have just watched the Twilight Saga on loop and drawn your own conclusions that new moons will never create crazy human-wearwolf romances.

2. The only thing longer than 3 years studying this is four years. That’s how old the data from the study is, which came from the years 2005-2008. How are we to trust old data that could be missing the most up-to-date evaluations of Walking Dead viewers?

3. We will never believe the conclusions of this study until the authors also report whether this study was pitched and funded during a full moon or new moon. We especially want to know if this study had to be conducted in a haunted house in order to obtain an inheritance from an eccentric distant uncle.

Categories: Health, Humor

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