Life Size Twinkie-Like Mascot Claims To Seek Job In New York

CNN reports that “Twinkie The Kid,” a life-sized Twinkie mascot who speaks through a representative is headed to New York in search of a job. “No problem,” we say!

3 Potential Jobs For Twinkie The Kid In NYC

1. Wandering through Times Square in his mascot-uniform with a handbag marked “tips.” Here’s a tip for mascots: you might get more hugs and tips if you cleaned your outfits more often than the New Year’s Eve ball dropping.

2. New mascot for the Brooklyn Nets, as it has been reported that the “BrooklyKnight” is also the name of a porn star.

3. Standing outside the NASDAQ, and waving during airing of programs “Options Action” and currency show “Money in Motion” to give the impression that anybody in the world actually cares about these shows. Even if they are just the people Twinkie the Kid is Skyping (using the nearest free McDonald’s WiFi) from his Android phone as he waves through the NASDAQ window.

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Categories: Humor

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