British Prime Minister David Cameron had every parent’s worst nightmare: he dreamt he was back in high school, and he didn’t study for his final French exam, and he shows up for class to write the final exam, with no trousers! That was his nightmare four days ago. Now if we’re talking months ago real-life nightmares, he went to a pub, with his 8-year-old daughter and left, and then fifteen or so minutes later wondered where his 8-year-old daughter was.
Remember, he is the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, not the Prime Minister of Finding Waldo! The important thing is everybody learned a lesson about the British Secret Service. Here’s the secret: 8-year-olds always beat them at hide and seek. Even in British pubs where the only real place to hide is in the baby stroller of the Prime Minister’s 22-month-old daughter, who was also enjoying a Sunday at the pub, like all children should, if they follow the example set by the country’s leader.
Still, we wouldn’t want to be a certain Prime Minister in Parliament, explaining this situation. Fortunately, for you, Prime Minister Cameron Pale Ale, this is NotTheWorstNews, the site where we make you feel better by knowing it could have been worse. Specifically, here are:
3 Worse Things Prime Minister Cameron Could Have Lost In A Pub
1. His British accent. One minute he’s talking like Hugh Grant, and two beers later he’s talking like the British star of the television hit, House, Hugh Laurie. That’s why Dr. House is always taking Vicodin. Because when British people take drugs and alcohol, they sound like the licensed Californian doctors who prescribed them the drugs and alcohol. “Silly Brit dudes always come here for prescriptions for Coors Light they can buy at the liquor store or Wal-mart,” laugh the doctors.
2. The War of 1812. Yes, losing your small child in a pub is bad. But losing the war your nation won 200 years ago is worse. Especially when you lose it on an entirely different continent and have to give the Parliament buildings and all members of Parliament to the Americans, right at a time when Americans want less government and more Bacon Sundaes from Burger King!
3. His 8-Year Old Daughter’s Car Keys. Who is going to drive the Bentley home now that the designated driver is missing? Certainly not the Prime Minister’s 22-month-old daughter! Like all British babies who have just left a bar, that kid is cruising down the wrong side of the street in its stroller at 100 kilometres per hour, blaring the Benny Hill Theme!