Author Archives

• 3 More Types of Monthly Active Users We Guess Are Using Twitter

  By Not The Worst News on July 29, 2015 • ( 1 )

  Yesterday we wrote about Twitter’s monthly active users increasing from 302 million to 304 million people. Who are these mystery people?  Here are 3 more guesses. 1.  People who didn’t use Twitter every month until the Twitter app started sending… Read More ›

• We Try To Guess Who Twitter’s Two Million New Users Are

  By Not The Worst News on July 28, 2015 • ( 0 )

  Yahoo Finance reports that Twitter announced today that it’s monthly active users rose from 302 million to 304 million. Who are these new users? Here are three guesses. 1.  Writers trying to get Twitter followers by following other writers back…. Read More ›

• 3 Less Obvious Reasons We Suspect Some People From Detroit Don’t Like Satan Statue

  By Not The Worst News on July 27, 2015 • ( 0 )

  People reports that a statue of Satan was unveiled at a secret location on Saturday.  Obviously some people found this offensive for religious reasons although a director for the organization that organized the statue unveiling said it was non-theistic. Anyway,… Read More ›

• People Threaten To Burn Down Satan Statue

  By Not The Worst News on July 26, 2015 • ( 1 )

  The Edmonton Sun reports that a Satanic Sculpture was unveiled in a secret location in Detroit by a group that does not worship satan, but supports separation of Church and State.  The location was secret because people threatened to burn… Read More ›

• Oops! Fed Reserve Allegedly Accidentally Published Rate Hike Plans Online.

  By Not The Worst News on July 25, 2015 • ( 2 )

  Reuters reports that the U.S. Federal Reserve allegedly accidentally published its plans online to raise interest rates by 0.25% this year. 3 Questions That Arise From This Story 1. Could they publish something that would raise the public’s interest rates… Read More ›

• 3 Slogans We Propose For Caesars Casinos If They Go Bankrupt

  By Not The Worst News on July 24, 2015 • ( 0 )

  Reuters reports that following an unfavorable judge ruling, Caesars Entertainment Corp may be forced into bankruptcy. Since we are all about helping companies, here are 3 slogans we propose for the company. 1. The House Always Wins: Unless You’re Caesar’s… Read More ›

• Of Course Amazon Is Worth More Than Wal-Mart…

  By Not The Worst News on July 23, 2015 • ( 0 )

  Fortune reports that following reporting earnings, in after-hour trading, Amazon is now worth more than Wal-Mart.  That’s reportedly about $250 billion to $230 billion. How did this happen? Amazon made a surprise quarterly profit of about $92 MILLION.  So, of… Read More ›

• Three 50 Cent Lyrics That Contradict His Sworn Testimony That He Rents Bling.

  By Not The Worst News on July 22, 2015 • ( 0 )

  CNBC reports that rapper 50 Cent said under oath that a 65-karat ring he posted on Instagram was leased.  He further swore that his fancy cars and jewelry are leased, not owned. Here are 3 Real 50 Cent lyrics we… Read More ›

• You Thought That Person On A Phone At A Theater Annoyed You

  By Not The Worst News on July 21, 2015 • ( 0 )

  Yahoo reports that a teen who admits he was drinking recently got on stage at the Broadway play “Hand to God” to try to plug his phone charger into an onstage outlet. 3 Questions That Arise From This Story 1…. Read More ›

• 3 Names We Proposes If NHL Expands To Three Cities

  By Not The Worst News on July 20, 2015 • ( 0 )

  Yahoo reports that the NHL is considering expansion.  The contending cities include “top candidate” Las Vegas; “the leading candidate” Seattle; and Portland.  Sorry Portland, not everyone can be the #1 candidate in a Yahoo News story! So what should these… Read More ›