Fortune reports that following reporting earnings, in after-hour trading, Amazon is now worth more than Wal-Mart. That’s reportedly about $250 billion to $230 billion.
How did this happen? Amazon made a surprise quarterly profit of about $92 MILLION. So, of course it’s worth more than Wal-Mart which, according to Yahoo Finance, made about $16 BILLION in the past twelve reported months.
Since we like to help corporations out, here are:
3 New Slogans We Propose For Amazon
1. Amazon: Hey, Why Are You Buying All Of This Amazon Stock On “The Market” Instead Of On Amazon? We’ll Even Ship Our Shares To You For Free! What? The Internet Already Does That? Shhhhhhhhh!
2. Amazon: Where You Can Shop At Home In Sweatpants, Delivered To Your Home For Free, While Never Getting Mocked On Web Site PeopleOfWalmart, Which You Can Look At After Shopping On Amazon.
3. Amazon: 20 Years In, And The $92 Million Party Is Just Getting Started! Let’s Invite 50 Cent – He’s Got Numbers In His Name So Must Be Good With Numbers.
Categories: Mildly Bad News