The Toronto Sun reports that a woman woke up at 7 am to raccoons having sex on her balcony. Here’s an excerpt from the article:
“‘I’m an animal lover but I can’t stand this,’ she said. ‘I found it gross and disgusting.“
This is NotTheWorstNews, so we are all about helping media out. Here are 3 better headlines for this story:
- “Dear Donald Trump: We Found Your New Speechwriter.”
- “Animal lover surprised to learn animals not really made at Build-A-Bear Workshop.”
- “Here’s Another Clickbait Free Toronto Sun Article. Imagine What You’d Get To Read If You Subscribed To Premium Access. More raccoon sex stories? Real news about a reporter in tears over where her career has taken her? You’ll have to pay the premium to find out, you cheapskates!”
Categories: Mildly Bad News
NotTheWorstNews 
Or: “Animal Lover Catches Animal Lovers In The Act”.
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