CNBC reports that Amazon is in talks to lease 20 Boeing 767 jets to start its own delivery service and skip the middle man.

Since we’re all about giving free advice to corporations, here are:

3 New Slogans We Propose For Amazon

1. Amazon: Why Yes, We Want To Drive Every Company In America Out Of Business!
2. Amazon: We Were Going To Lease Some Jets From Boeing But Then We Found Someone Willing To Sell Used Jets For $14.99 On Amazon.  Win-Win. Please Keep Listing Your Unwanted Jets, People.
3. Amazon: Dear Prime Members Please Stop Trying To Sell Yourself To Your Family In Florida To Try To Get Free Shipping Of Yourself To Florida In One Of Our Jets.

Categories: Mildly Bad News

Tags: Business, Humor, Parody, satire, shopping, transportation, travel