Report: Company You Never Heard Of Will Be Closed Black Friday

CNN reports that a company called “REI” which sells active-wear will be closing its 100+ stores on Black Friday, urging consumers to go outside instead.  It will also reportedly pay its employees for Thanksgiving and Black Friday off.

3 Frequently-Asked Questions That We Suspect Might Arise From This Story

  1. How am I supposed to enjoy the outdoors, when it’s snowing, and I haven’t bought a winter coat, because I only pay 50% off for coats, even if the coat’s regular price is twice expensive, and I am in theory saving nothing?”  Perhaps you can buy a big screen TV for $200 at a door-crasher sale and watch images of the outdoors instead.
  2. I still plan at being drunk at 4:00 a.m. from Thanksgiving. Were should I shop?” You’ll probably find a great deal on apple sauce in your cupboards.  
  3. Why can’t every corporation be this nice and let their employees enjoy Thanksgiving?” Because if everyone had the day off, they’d all go to the one store left open Black Friday. And if there’s any store that manages to be slow-moving in response to changing trends, we’re betting that store is called Sears.
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Categories: Mildly Bad News

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1 reply

  1. Hey I know of them – only because I’m a member and was searching for a place that knows about what they sell 😛

    Like

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