SABMiller, the world’s second largest beer-maker announced today that it has agreed in principle to be acquired by Anheuser-Busch-Inbev, the world’s largest brewer.

Since we’re all about helping massive corporations, here are 3 slogans we propose for the merged company.

1. Busch: now we’re even better than #1, unless you are referring to baseball teams that play in Busch Stadium.
2. Speaking of stadiums, we brew the beers that have no competition in stadiums.  Because why else would someone pay $13 for a Busch Light when any hipster can open up a less-expensive craft brewery in their local brew pub or man cave?
3. Check out our TV commercials! Because there are no barriers to entry in this business.  Although in our commercial we call them “beeriers,” because we’re selling beer with “essence” of berry flavor.*

*In essence how Anheuser-Busch-Inbev describes their Shock Top Raspberry Wheat Beer on their web site.

Categories: Mildly Bad News

Tags: Advertising, beer, Business, Humor, marketing, Parody, satire, sports, St. Louis Cardinals