Intelligent Aliens May Weigh 650 Pounds

CNET reports that a cosmologist has used a mathematical formula to estimate that intelligent alien beings may be 650 pounds.

3 Questions That Arise From This Story

1. Will they eat you if they come to this planet? We’re hoping they just eat an entire Shake Shack restaurant chain (including the building structures) instead. Who doesn’t love Shake Shack?

2. But Jim Parsons played a small alien in the hit movie Home, and he plays a smart nerd on TV… how can this be? We’re guessing Jim Parsons is more smart in a choosing-TV-shows-that-make-him-money kinda way, rather than smart-in-choosing-roles-with-actual-smart-lines.

3. Does this mean Abercrombie is a safe place to hide from the aliens? We’re guessing “no,” since the stores carry larger sizes now and A&F also made it more difficult to hide in the dark by removing shutters from their stores.

Categories: Mildly Bad News

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