Russian Kid Is A Human Magnet… Here Are 3 Potential Drawbacks.

The NY Post reports that following an accidental electric shock, a 12-year old boy is now a human magnet: he can attract spoons, coins and other metallic objects. While the story may feature the benefits of having super-hero-like powers, we want to discourage kids from intentionally shocking themselves to gain their own superpowers, so here are:

3 Potential Drawbacks Of Being A 12-Year-Old Human Magnet

1. Mom posts list of chores on your chest instead of fridge. Oh, great, now you not only have to take out the trash, but the week-old TV dinner trays are going to stick to your chest. And nobody ate the stupid red dessert, whatever that even is.

2. Getting shoved in a school locker by bullies will be more traumatic. Aren’t superpowers supposed to be helpful against evil? Guess not when your arms are stuck to the locker and you can’t knock on the door.

3. No field trip to the knife factory for you! While the rest of the kids are having fun not being in school, you’re stuck at your desk. Literally. It’s one of those one-piece metal deals.

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Categories: Mildly Bad News

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1 reply

  1. As long as he stays away from knives and golf clubs, he can make a decent living just pulling coins from fountains.

    Like

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