Oh, Canada, Thanks For All The News

It’s been a busy week for Canada in the news from the Mayor of Toronto admitting to probably using crack, Canadian Justin Bieber reportedly being seen leaving a Brazilian brothel, and a woman from Toronto going on dates to get free meals and then blogging about the dates.

3 Excuses For Canada’s Behavior

1. Canada did invent the Blackberry, known affectionately by many as the “Crackberry.” Since Blackberry is not seeing the best financial days in its history, maybe it can try to auction off the rights to the name “Crackberry” so that the Mayor of Toronto can rename all the cities’ public libraries “Crackbraries” or “Crackberries” for the kids who call libraries “liberries” because they haven’t spent much time reading at the library. Who wouldn’t want to visit their local Crackbrary to read up on the dangers of crack from a 1980s textbook?

2. It’s too early in the season for hockey riots. So people gotta release their frustration that the Toronto Maple Leafs haven’t won a Stanley Cup since 1967 somehow, right? p.s. maybe if more people in Toronto spent time reading at the local Crackbrary, they’d know the plural of “leaf” is “leaves” and the City could at least win the Spelling Bee Cup.

3. This Obamacare web site rebuilding delay, which is like watching paint dry, really doesn’t leave much to talk about in American news. And since the web site was created by a Canadian company, it’s all making sense why Canada would want to engineer slow American news days to give Canada more time in the spotlight!

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Categories: Humor, World News

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

2 replies

  1. I think it’s like the nice kid trying to prove he’s cool.

    Like

  2. It’s nice when another country occupies the sordid headlines for a while. Makes you proud to be American. Relatively, that is.

    Like

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