Law School Final Exam Question 101: How To Possibly Defend An Alleged 28,000-Time 9-1-1 Prank Caller

Yesterday we wrote about a man in Tokyo who allegedly prank-called Tokyo’s equivalent of 9-1-1 around 28,000 times.

It’s at times like these where hopeful lawyers may have to come up with some form of defense. And hopeful law school exam writers have to come up with creative answers for implausible hypothetical scenarios. So here are:

3 Possible Defenses To Phoning 9-1-1 About 28,000 Times

1. Counting every mosquito slipping through screen doors as individual break-and-enters. After all, those things could cause West Nile Virus or the opening credits of Dexter to play!

2. Murder, which you also consider “Dying a slow death of sitting on the couch doing nothing but eating high trans-fat potato chips and getting stung by mosquitos (whose heart attacks you must also report to police after they eat your high-fat blood.)”

3. “Hey, it’s not my fault that my telemarketing company avoids the do not call list by making calls from overseas, and the computer assigned me all 999,9999 numbers in the (911) area code. I’m just doing my job trying to sell body-armor-pajamas that prevent you from being bitten by mosquitos (because insect repellents are full of chemicals and messy!)”

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Categories: Humor, Law

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