America Considering Replacing Dollar Bills With Coins… We’re Not Saying You’re Copying Canada… But We Might If The Coins Are Filled With Delicious Maple Syrup!

CNN reports that when asked about the impact of the potential replacement of U.S. dollar bills with a new dollar coin on strippers, Senator John McCain stated: “Then I hope that they could obtain larger denominations…”

Just a friendly reminder that traces of cocaine may not be the only thing you have to worry about whether the bills you just received at a fast food restaurant came in contact with. We are saying they could have touched fast food ingredients. What did you think we meant?

3 Other Jobs That May Be Affected By Dollar Coins

1. Cops enforcing anti-trespassing laws for people who illegally remove coins from the Las Vegas Bellagio fountain. Someone really was questioned for this on an episode of Cops! Since Cops has been downgraded from Fox to Spike TV, this could be the perfect opportunity to spike ratings and shoot more chases around the fountain, now that coins will be worth so much more money!

2. Federal reserve dollar bill assembly line workers. Yes, this is a cheap joke, but what did you expect in a discussion about cheap currency?

3. Ben Bernanke. For all those who think Ben Bernanke is devaluing currency, think about whether John McCain suggesting strippers be given “fives, tens, and one hundreds” may have an impact on inflation! Okay, now that you’re imagining John McCain and strippers in your head, you are free to leave this article and buy some five dollar anti-nausea medication at the local dollar store.

Categories: Humor, Politics

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1 reply

  1. This is the first thing I’ve ever heard John McCain say that I agree with.

    But let’s not call them “Loonies” … we have enough of those in Washington already.


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